


An Apostate Repulsed

by junojjones



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Dragon Age - Freeform, Dragon Age Inquisition, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Shameless Smut, Skyhold, Slow Burn, Solas Smut, The Winter Palace (Dragon Age)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-05-26 18:07:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6250075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junojjones/pseuds/junojjones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mae'en Lavellan gets the wrong idea about Solas's violent reaction to her casual friendly touches.<br/>He eventually corrects her assumptions.<br/>Thoroughly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Misunderstandings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mae'en is an awkward flirt at the best of times, but now Solas is avoiding her touch as though it were plague ridden.

The first time it happened, Mae'en was so flustered she hadn't known how to react.

Solas had spent the majority of the day with her, reading a loud from an ancient text they had discovered together on an adventure to the Emerald Graves.

 

She had been pacing slowly around the rotunda as she listened to his voice move soothingly and precisely over the Elven words as she sipped from a strong cup of tea. He'd sat at the small table in the center that housed many small trinkets and artifacts they picked up on their journeys, holding the volume in his lap with one foot crossed comfortably across his knee to help support its weight.

 

Solas had paused suddenly to dust his fingers across the page he'd been reading from, then tisked aloud, suddenly frowning. 

" The script here is smudged." He'd murmured, almost to himself. 

Mae had leaned over his shoulder to look, her own disappointment gathering a small knot between her brows. 

 

It had felt natural to her to reach out and brace her hand against his shoulder as she leaned over him to glimpse the worn text. A fleeting touch so inconsequential it could have hardly been noticed. But, Solas....

 

 He had wrenched his shoulder out from under her fingers so quickly, and with such violence, that he had banged his elbow hard into the arm of his chair with a loud curse, upsetting the book in his lap into a fluttered blur across the table knocking over his own cold cup of tea. 

Mae had been so horrified that her touch could inspire such a reaction; she had slammed her own cup down in a hasty retreat. 

 

Forgetting to be polite and help tidy the mess, she had fled flustered and red faced. 

Her mind whirled, her hand practically burning in her embarrassment, recalling the moment. 

They had spent so much time together, Mae was sure he'd felt just as at ease with her as she had grown with him. When they had the time, they usually spent it in each other's company, laughing, telling stories, and even flirting shyly. 

Perhaps she had been badly mistaken... 

 

The second time it happened, Mae'en became angry. 

They had continued to travel together, despite her embarrassment. She needed a Mage for her missions, and it would have been too dangerous to travel without him. At first she thought he simply didn't like her and had simply been placating the leader of the Inquisition, a sacrifice for a greater cause.  But soon after her hasty retreat over spilt tea, he had indeed sought her out again, and asked her to help him decipher an old rune.   
  
Soon after some initial awkwardness they were able to fall back into their usual camaraderie, with only a little more caution on her part. She was careful not to touch him, but also careful not to let him know she was avoiding it.

Or missing it. 

Still, Solas seemed distracted, as if constantly bracing for impact. 

 

They were deep in the cold climate of Emprise de Lion, and had just finished clearing a camp of Red Templars. She had turned in her excited victory to smile at Solas, but immediately noted that the older elf was hurt. 

A vicious slash from a Templar blade had been pouring blood from the side of his face, the cut extending from temple to the tip of his pointed ear. 

Mae made a low noise of concern, moving in close to inspect the wound for poisonous residue. Her hands had cupped his jaw to turn him into the light.

 

He actually groaned, pushing her away from him with such force, she'd stumbled back a few paces. He turned away from her, palming the injury, and moving away quickly to tend it himself. Mae's hands had hung empty at her sides as she stared after him in shock. The others, Bull and Cassandra, had not noticed their exchange, but Mae had felt her face color all the same. Curling her hands into fists to resist the impulse to follow, she had suddenly felt a bubble of rage fighting it's way up her chest. 

 

This was ridiculous! How could he be so disgusted with her, just moments after fighting together in perfect coordination? She had starred at the small smear of blood left on her palm, the red of it bringing the swirling blue lines of her Vallaslin into sharp contrast. 

 

Was that it? Is that what he’d seen every time he looked at her? Her Dalish roots? Could his dislike for her clans really run so deep?

She huffed and walked away from the group, seething as she’d readied her pack to set up camp. 

 

 

Now that she had time to think, away from the others in her tent at the far edge of camp, Mae'en was hurt. 

She just couldn't understand how Solas could be so friendly, engaging, and kind one moment and then pushing her physically away in disgust the next moment. 

 

Maybe he wasn't aware of how it hurt her? 

 

Maybe he didn't care? 

 

She shook her head, unwilling to think so badly of the other elf. She sighed and sat up from her pallet. Wrapping her thick and warm woolen blanket around herself for warmth. She stepped out of her tent and sat by the entrance, as was her usual custom when she could not bring herself to sleep. She took a deep breath of clear air in, and tilting her head back to look at the sky she let her exhale cloud the cold air around her. Stars twinkled all around her, the scar left on the heavens by the breach still visible, but in the stillness of the night did nothing to dim the moons brightness. 

 

" Care for company, Da'len?" Solas spoke softly, appearing out of the darkness on her left. Cloaked with heavy furs, he had clearly been setting more protective wards around their little settlement.

 

Slightly startled, Mae looked up at him. He stood with his hands behind his back, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, expression otherwise calm, and open. Nothing about his posture or body language indicated any discomfort. 

 

Mae shrugged slightly, indicating the ground next to her, as she looked away from him trying to sort out the confusion of emotions rioting through her.

" As you wish," She consented softly.

 

Solas sat in one fluid motion onto the second half of the small pallet she sat on. He looked at her profile, and seemed to catch on to her discomfort. 

 

" Are you alright, Inquisitor? " He asked, leaning forward to crane his head around trying to catch her eye.

 

She looked at him, trying to remain angry with him, but the moonlight highlighted the silvery scar of his recent injury, and she decided to simply ignore his question. 

 

" Does it still hurt? I could have treated it before you healed. There wouldn't be a scar." She said, indicating the side of his head. Solas raised his hand gingerly, touching the scar lightly, the tips of his ears reddening. 

 

" I uh... No. It does not hurt." He answered, a small frown forming. 

 

Mae wanted so much to smooth her fingertips across his brow and flatten the frown that marred his face, to sooth the scar away and feel the heat of his skin. She looked at him silently, wondering why she kept getting urges to touch him when he clearly did not want her to. 

 

It was the way he looked at her, she decided, as his gaze met hers. His lips parted slightly as though asking a question, and suddenly tension grew between them. 

 

" What's--" 

" I am so--" 

 

They both started to speak at once, and then with small smiles, both stopped. 

Solas chuckled, cheeks reddening. 

 

" You first, Da'len." He bowed his head slightly, avoiding her eye. 

Mae bit into her lip, not sure if she wanted to know the answer. 

 

" What is wrong with me?" She asked in a rush, her hands flying into the air with released exasperation. 

 

" I like spending time with you, and you seem to enjoy my company. You seek me out even, and yet..." She halted, losing courage, and dropping her gaze to her lap where she had begun to fidget. 

 

Solas was frowning again, his head tilted toward her, searching her face. 

 

" And yet...? " He prompted her gently. 

She swallowed hard, fighting her instinct to flee the situation. Better to know why he hated her touch, then to torture herself any further. 

 

" Well, I've noticed… Any time I touch you... You seem..." She struggled to find the right word. 

" Repulsed." She finished badly, biting her lower lip. 

 

She didn't see his expression change. First to shock, then to protest, then finally understanding. He set his jaw, and took a deep breath. It was his turn to fidget.

 

" That's because I am." He said softly. 

 

Mae looked up, sudden, and hurt, her lips parting in protest.

She had guessed as much, but the crushing reality of it was heart breaking, and she was speechless.

 

Solas searched her face again, making sure she was looking before he explained. 

" You mistake my meaning, Da'len." He said when she began to turn away from him. She paused, about to retort.

 

" Please, Mae..." He reached and clasped her hands, swallowing hard at the contact. 

" It has been a long time since anyone has touched me in any capacity. The fade can feel real, but it lacks..." He brushed his thumbs against her palms slowly, not breaking eye contact.

"... Warmth." He breathed. 

 

Mae still didn't understand, but she was transfixed and paralyzed by the feeling of his hands around hers, stilling like prey caught in a hunters gaze. 

Solas shifted to face her better, pulling her hands into his lap, lacing their fingers, as he stared at their connection. 

 

" You are intelligent, and beautiful, and electric. And your touch..." He paused, looking back into her eyes. " ...You've been so accepting of me; an apostate. You have been so kind, I--" he bit his lip, distracting her even more as the tension between them seemed to swell. 

 

" I am ashamed of how your touch tempts me... Like a feral wolf in heat… I can barely control myself when you—“ He stopped, thinking better of continuing that particular train of thought.

 

“ The only thing that disgusts me more then my deplorable inability to control myself is the thought that I have hurt you in anyway..." He finished, squeezing her fingers gently. 

 

Mae was dumbfounded. Her mind went blank the moment he called her  _intelligent, beautiful, electric..._

“Oh…” She breathed out, barely above a whisper. She shivered, sucking on her bottom lip as she starred unbelievingly. “ You… Want… Me?” She asked slowly, worrying that she was misunderstanding again.

 

Solas actually blushed, a deep crimson creeping up to the tips of his ears.

“I…” He hesitated. “ Yes. I cannot ask… I wouldn’t dream of acting on it. You’re the inquisitor, and I’m sure there are many more suitable companions. Certainly many more deserving.” He said in a rush, and she realized with a leap of her heart that he was rambling nervously.

 

Suddenly, Mae felt as though something inside her shifted. Something that had been aching inside her chest fell into place, and was beaming warm, right next to her heart.

  
“ I don’t want anyone else…” She said, leaning to him, tugging him forward by his hands until their clouded breaths mingled in the cold night air. “ I want you.” She said matter-of-factly, her heart hammering against her chest.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading! This story is getting on much more then I ever expected. I will be updating this fix weekly. Please note that it will diverge from the game story line quite often, and that none of these character belong to me.   
> Please feel free to leave CC in the comments, and follow me on Tumblr for regular updates on this and my other Fics!


	2. Intentions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas and Mae'en slowly working out their newly admitted feelings.

“Oh…” Solas breathed against her mouth.  
Mae’en parted her lips, her eyes sliding shut slowly as she drew a slow shaky breath in.

 

“Mae’en…” He reached his hand up, fingers brushing against her cheek to leave a hot trail against her skin.

  
“Mae’en!!” Another voice shouted.

 

They jumped apart, both blushing as Mae looked around wildly trying to find the source of the shout. Cassandra dashed out of the darkness toward them red faced and clearly excited.

  
“ There’s been a messenger from Skyhold! “ She rushed, clearly not noticing the elves reddening ears, as both rose awkwardly, disentangling.

  
“ Josephine has received invitation to the Winter Palace. We must report back to begin preparations.” She finished, looking between the two, oblivious.

 

“ Must we travel tonight?” Solas asked of the Seeker, clearing his throat slightly.

 

“ Yes, the black crow sent would not dismount from Bulls horns until I gave it a reply saying we would leave within the hour.” Cassandra hid her smile at Bulls expense badly, and turned back toward the main camp.

  
Mae chewed her lip nervously, trying not to feel the disappointment sting too keenly, as she watched her go.

  
She felt Solas’s fingers grip her own, and suddenly her knuckles were pressed against his open mouth.

 

She gasped lightly pressing her free hand into her throat as her breath caught, Solas’s dark gaze locked on her.

  
“ I shall bid you goodnight, then. To pack… “ He murmured against her skin.

Mae managed a nod, though she didn’t move until he released his grip on her hand.   
“Da’len” He whispered in goodbye, and made his way back toward his tent.

 

The second he was out of sight, Mae drew a deep breath and shivered violently, suddenly feeling the cold that surrounded her. She smirked slightly at her own silly thoughts, and shook her head retrieving her fallen blanket. She retreated into her tent and began to pack for what would be a long hard ride back to Skyhold.

 

 

 

It took them longer then expected to return to Skyhold, thanks to a blistering windstorm that crashed into them as they left their campsite that night. Solas’s mount protested and halted often, requiring almost all of his attention lest he be thrown off the great hart.

 

The rest of Solas’s focus however was pointed sharply at the small elf riding the spirited appaloosa in front of him.

 

Solas admired the curve of her back, the roll of her hips with every stride, and the strength in her thighs as she maneuvered her mount skillfully through the snow. Her heavy winter furs did nothing to diminish the shear power her lithe form emanated. The fade magic that his stupid mistake had forced on her should be unbearably overwhelming, and yet she bore it with grace, and seemed to mold it into her strength.

 

And it was damned distracting. 

 

Solas cursed as his mount Elgar pitched awkwardly in the deep snow of the ravine they were navigating, barely recovering in time to avoid pitching face first into the snow below. 

 

Mae's familiar laughter drew his attention back to the front of their procession. She was nudging the large Qunari in the shoulder with her knee as he trudged along next to her, preferring to walk then burden a mount with his bulk. He had obviously said something the Inquisitor found funny, and he was laughing in kind, taping her knee back affectionately. 

 

Solas had noticed their closeness almost from the moment the Ben-Hassrath agent joined their ranks. Solas was never prone to jealousy, but the Qunari agent was observant, and he worried exactly what he saw when looking at him.

 

Solas felt a small twinge of guilt at the thought of his secret. The one he could no longer afford to tell. He should walk away now before it hurt more then just himself.

Another wave of guilt caused Solas to cringe internally when he thought of Mae's confession that night. She had been trembling as she worked up the courage to speak, and he remembered the urge to laugh in disbelief at her misunderstanding. The thought that he had been hurting her, because she thought he was disgusted by her touch?

  
That pained him more then his secrets did. 

 

Her gentle friendly touches had scorched him with a ferocity he had never felt before in all his long years. He had thought her alluring from the moment she had been brought to him, the fade magic sparking out of control within her. 

His attraction increased when he first saw her on the battlefield with Cassandra, fierce and insistent. 

He found the more time he spent with her, the more the attraction grew. She was a delight, curious and amusing. There was no denying that he had entertained thoughts of her.

 

But those innocent moments of contact...

 

Lust had bubbled up inside him, awakening a base primal need that had been long since slumbering with such urgency, it was all he could do to remain seated at all. 

It had snapped him out of his state of detachment instantaneously, and with it came a whirlwind of emotions that troubled and thrilled him. 

 

 

Several hours into the next day they all stopped for a quick rest. After attending to their horses, they all convened to plot out the next part of their journey.

 

“ My horse has thrown a shoe, and it looks like the nail cracked her hoof. “ Mae said to the group as she approached. “ I don’t think I should ride her.” She said, to Cassandra’s dismay.

  
“ That will add days to our trek.” The Seeker complained.

  
“ I could always carry you, Boss.” Bull said, leering playfully, and nudging Mae’s shoulder.

 

Solas shook his head, before he could stop himself. “No, Da’len. You may ride my mount.” He insisted.

 

“ I don’t know Solas. Bull has a much longer stride, and can walk much faster then either you or Mae. Maybe he should carry her.” Cassandra contemplated out loud.

 

“ No.” Solas said again, and everyone looked at him curiously, Mae raising a brow at him, her cheeks a little more pink then before.

 

He cleared his throat. “ She may ride with me. And Bull can lead her horse.”

Bull and Cassandra simply looked at Mae’en as he ears turned a darker shade of red.

 

“ Well, yes, I suppose that would work.” She said, chewing her lip. She looked flustered, but Solas was sure he saw a hint of a smile twitch at the corner of her mouth.

  
“ Alright…” Cassandra directing their attention to the map she had rolled out over an old stump.

 

They were ready to leave a few moments later, with Bull leading the appaloosa.

Mae starred up at the large hart, as though trying to decide where to start.

Solas approached, and grabbing onto the pommel, hoisted himself up onto Elgar’s back.  
“ Come, Da’len.” He said, once settled. “ Let me assist you.” He held down his arm for her.

  
She gripped him at the elbow, and using a nearby rock as leverage, he helped her lift herself into the saddle in front of him. Once properly seated in front of him, she sat with her back straight, gripping the pommel.

  
“ Elgar is a lot taller than Prim…” She said nervously.

 

Solas chuckled, and slid his arm around her front, pulling her gently back against him.

  
“There now, Da’mi. I have you.” He said into her ear, which now rested against his collarbone.

 

“Ma serannas.” She murmured settling, slowly.

 

 

As the started off Mae began to relax against him and soon was snuggled comfortably with her arm closed tightly over his around her waist. Once they were on their way, Solas noted that there were many more benefits to riding with Mae then just keeping her out of another mans arms.

 

With her back pressed against his chest the cold mountain air was almost bearable. She smelled sweetly of lavender and elfroot, and her weight in his lap felt pleasantly solid. 

 

" It was kind of you to offer to ride double with me," Mae said, playing with the cuff of his doublet, brushing her fingers along the back of his hand. " Though I'm not sure if Elgar feels the same." She chuckled. 

 

Solas could not help but press his chin gently to her temple as he hummed in acknowledgement.

 

" My intentions were not admittedly for solely your benefit." He admitted softly against the tip of her pointed ear, and suddenly the heat between them seemed to flare to life, burning Solas everywhere they touched. Her hand stilled above his, and she turned her cheek toward him.

 

" Oh…?" She murmured breathlessly, slowly lacing her fingers with his. " And how does this benefit you, Hahren?" She asked.

 

Maneuvering the hart slowly around a large ridge instead of over it afforded them a little distance from the others, and once out of direct line of sight, he pressed his lips against her temple. 

 

" The thought of you in the arms of someone else... " He said, his voice pitched low, and suddenly possessive. 

 

Mae'en smirked and ducked her chin slightly to hide it from him unsuccessfully. 

" Bull?" She queried. " I'd never considered..." She trailed off, and Solas frowned, worried suddenly at what thoughts he may have started. 

 

" Hahren!" Mae laughed suddenly, settling her free hand against his thigh. " I'm only teasing." 

 

A spark seemed to crash right through him at her touch, and he cleared his throat, and tried to shift, tightening his grip around her waste. 

 

" Careful, Vhenan..." He practically growled. 

" I am not a jealous man by nature, but I may be tempted." He said darkly. 

 

He felt her back curve against his chest as she shifted, bringing her ear closer to his mouth, and her firm backside flush with his hips. She made a small low noise that seemed to surprise both of them. Solas tried to shift himself again and spare himself the embarrassment of the heat currently pulsing between them, but Mae stilled him by gripping his thigh. 

 

" Maybe I want to tempt you…” She said, her hot breath nearly clouding his vision as she tilted her head back to bring her mouth next to his. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CC welcomed in the comments! Hope you guys are enjoying the story so far!


	3. Tease

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exhausted upon her return to Skyhold, Mae'en tries to relax, and Solas joins her in an unexpected way.

Mae sank into the hot bath that the servants of Skyhold had drawn for her letting the spice of warm lavender wrap around her senses in a thick cloud of steam. She felt her muscles instantly relax and groaned stretching her limbs into the luxurious heat.

 

She lay back in the large metal tub letting her eyes shut as she let go the hard tensions of the battles they had seen while away. 

 

This was a bit of a ritual for her, every time she returned from venturing around the wilds of the Thedas. She had started insisting upon it after Varric suggested she find some way to wind down after a particularly bad week where she ended up at the Heralds rest with him, dissolving into tears from the stress of it all. 

 

These moments of solitude and peace were afforded to her before anything else was asked of her upon returning to the hold, and this was no exception. She had barely nodded thanks to the stable boy that had helped her dismount Solas's mount, and after a brief goodbye from him, she had trudged directly to her chambers, exhausted and sore all over. 

 

As the tension of the long hours of travel and stress of battle melted away, Mae felt another tension lingering, keeping her shoulders and hips tight. She rolled her shoulders slowly, contemplating the final part of their journey home.

 

Solas had been quite adamant that she ride with him after Prim had injured her hoof. Mae had secretly delighted at the thought of spending more time with him now that their little misunderstanding had been cleared up, but when she realized she would be pressed against the wall of his chest for the remainder of the trip, her heart had started to thunder against her ribs. Avoiding eye contact with their other companions, Mae had consented softly, trying not to let her mind wander too wildly. 

 

She pressed her fingers to her reddened cheek, remembering with a smile the way he had possessively curled his arm around her waist, holding her against him. Her entire body had come alive, and she had not been able to help but fidget at first, fingering the fringe of his cuff, and tracing patterns against the back of his gloved hand.

 

The combined heat of the tub and the memory of their closeness cause a flush to spread up Mae's chest and up still to redden the very tips of her ears. The tension that had built while they spoke had been rather delicious, and had only continued to build each time they mounted the hart to carry on their travels. By the time they had reached Skyhold several hours ago they both had been exhausted from being taught with emotion the entire time spent in each other's arms. 

 

Mae bit her lip, wondering what would have happened, had they been able to afford real privacy. A press of lips against her temple had been scorching all the way down to her core. Imagining more left her slightly breathless, stomach fluttering wildly. She hugged herself, sitting up in her bath, pressing her thighs together feeling the tension within her swell once more. 

 

She chewed her lip, laying back again after a few moments, letting her hands trail down her own arms slowly, trying not to thrill at the warm shiver it sent down her spine when she imagined it was Solas pressing determined fingers into her skin. 

 

She hesitated suddenly, feeling a nip of guilt at using him this way, selfishly creating this lurid and sensual version of him in her mind. 

She bit her bottom lip again, giving in to this vision of him, eyes dark with lust, body as naked as her own. 

 

Instead of submerged in a bath, Mae imagined them bathed in the hot light of a setting sun, pressed together against the bare rock of an ancient Elvhen temple. 

Heat coursed through her, and she let her hands slip slowly over her abdomen, sliding and sliding closer to the very core of her below the waters surface. 

She tried to imagine what his mouth would feel like against hers, how his chest would drag against the tip of her breasts, the weight of him between her legs. 

 

 Her response she knew would be complete surrender. 

 

With that thought her fingers finally slipped past her folds to play slowly at the sensitive nub between them. Mae couldn't help but squirm against her hand, letting out a soft moan that tasted like Solas's name. 

 

Suddenly her fantasy seemed to shift, almost flaring into a sudden sharp relief, and her vision of Solas seemed to have a life of its own. She could almost feel the press of his kiss against her throat and then the scrape of his teeth against her collar bone as a firm calloused hand pushed her own away to take their place with slipping circles around her clit. 

 

Mae’en was soon gripping the edge of deep claw foot tub, legs twitching and hips rolling in slow rhythm as her fantasy began to spin wildly out of her control. 

 

She gasped aloud at the sudden feeling of curling fullness within her, teasing just the right places inside her. She moaned louder as she felt herself tighten around the sensation, tension violently snapping almost immediately in a euphoric explosion that ripped through her. 

 

She slowly came back to reality, feeling like warm velvet inside her bath. She opened her eyes after a moment, a blush staining her cheeks. 

She had the strangest feeling that she was not alone, and yet when she looked around the only thing that moved in her chambers was the crackling fire in the hearth. She sat up slowly, reaching internally instead for the feeling of someone else's prescience.

" Solas...?" She whispered. 

 

 

***

 

Solas jolted awake in his cot exactly where he had thrown himself in exhaustion upon his return to his own chamber. 

 

The heat of Mae'en writhing beneath him still pulsed through his veins and his entire body was drawn taught with unfulfilled lust. 

 

He cursed, taking ragged breaths and pressing his hand over his pounding heart. 

He sat up swiftly, pressing his eyes shut, grasping at the image in his minds eye as it faded in wisps of green. 

 

He had realized quickly after falling asleep, that while the dream of Mae'en in the warm sun of the ancient temple was certainly pleasant, that is was being fuelled by more then just his own imagination. He had felt the sensual pull of her body calling out to him in the fade, and in his exhausted state, he had reached out without caution. 

 

When the sight of her materialized in front of him, his heart had wrenched in his chest at the sight. She was a white marble goddess bathed in golden light, her body drawing itself into a bow, beautiful hands working her center with slow precision. He had been incapable of stopping himself from touching her, just as it would have been impossible for him to stop breathing. 

 

Here in the fade, his magic, he knew she had been thinking of him as though she had cried out his name. He answered that knowledge with pressing lips, and open mouthed kisses against her skin, demanding that he be allowed to finish her work for her. 

 

His eyes snapped open again, as he realized that while he had been bringing her to the peak of her release, his body had also found his own, the evidence of it spreading through his breeches. 

Solas flopped back onto his cot, laughing as he flushed in his solitary embarrassment, glad that she had not seen how quickly she had unraveled him. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tease? Me?? Naw.  
> Cc welcome! :)


	4. Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Iron Bull worries about Solas's intentions, but preparations for the trip to the Winter Palace keep Mae'en and Solas apart.  
> Mae'en tries to find Solas in the fade the only way she knows how, and they both make a few discoveries.

The next few days were a flurry of hectic preparation. Josephine was adamant that they needed to arrive at the Winter Palace three days in advance to give Mae'en enough time to get to know some of the more prominent nobles that would be attendance for the great masquerade.

 

"The Game" it would seem required quite a bit of foreplay.

 

 As it were, very little in the way of physical work was required of Mae, except to attend an obscene amount of meetings, fittings, and creators save her, dancing lessons. 

 

Josie had Mae in constant motion, but refused to let her actually do anything of real consequence. It was a frustrating and eye opening experience. She had never really considered Josie's role within the Inquisition, but was soon left in no doubt that she was certainly one of the hardest working women she had ever met.   


Within the week before they departed Josie had Mae fully outfitted with proper Orlesian wear, speaking several full Orlesian sentences, able to both identify and successfully dance three different Orlesian waltz, and actually wearing shoes when indoor no less. 

 

Mae'en was somewhat grateful for the distraction from her own worries. She was terrified of this whole ordeal. She just couldn't wrap her head around the whole idea of the game, or why they couldn't just tell the Empress that her life was in danger. 

 

Humans were complicated. 

 

                  Unfortunately with all the preparations, Mae'en could hardly spare a moment for herself, and spent very little time with her companions, with the exception of Bull, who was a surprisingly skilled dance teacher. 

" So... Solas...?" Her large friend asked on the last evening before their departure. They had been polishing her steps, and were now sitting at the Heralds Rest with some of the Chargers. 

Mae'en looked around before realizing he was asking her a question, and felt her cheeks go pink. She didn't answer, but took another large swallow of ale instead. 

Bull chuckled, finishing his drink, and tapping the bar lightly to signal the barkeep that they would take two more. 

 

" It's obvious that he is very passionate about you. And you've been all wide eyes and red ears in his direction since before Skyhold, so I figured it wouldn't be long before the two of you figured it out." He said, sliding another drink in front of her. 

 

He leveled her with an even measuring look over his tumbler. 

 

" Are you going to fuck him?" He asked simply after a moment.

 

Mae'en spluttered into her mug of ale, nearly drowning in it. 

 

" Bull!!" She exclaimed, cheeks reddening further. 

Bull smiled mildly, shrugging his great hulking shoulders. 

 

" I'm just looking out for you, kid. I see the way he looks at you when he thinks no one is watching. He's constantly calculating exactly how far away you are from the nearest dark corner he could bend you over in."  

 

Mae'en continued to try and shush him, looking around cautiously to see if anyone else was listening in. 

 

" I'm just saying, Mae. If he doesn't get his cock we--" 

Mae tugged on one of Bulls horns, to level the brutes face with hers, and slapped her hand over his mouth, nearly climbing on top of him to stop the Qunari from speaking. 

She felt the rumble of his laugh rolling through his chest. He brushed her off gently, setting her back into her seat. 

 

"Alright, okay. You get it." He said, patting the top of her head. " I just want to make sure it is not unwanted attention. Solas... He's quiet, but there is something in the set of his shoulders that speaks of a man with a lot of experience with this game. And little experience with the word 'No.'" He raised a brow at her. 

 

" I'm just making sure you know what you're playing for." 

 

Mae chewed her lip, trying not to let the heat of her blush bother her. 

" Of course I do, I'm not a virgin." She practically whispered into her mug. 

 

" I never said you were kid, but I have a feeling you've never been serious about someone, and I can't really get a read on Solas's intentions." Bull frowned, clearly unhappy about that fact.

 

" His every move is a contradiction." 

 

Mae smiled, feeling her heart soften. 

 

" Thank you, for looking out for me. It's very sweet of you. " 

 

Bull simply grunted, and took a swig of ale, after muttering something about it being his job after all.  
He stood after a moment, dropping a few coins onto the bar top, and saluting briefly to the barman.

 

"Whelp, I'm off to see what the Tevinter mage is up to tonight. I think I'm going to fuck him." 

Mae spluttered into her drink again, but smiled this time. 

" Good luck!" She waved him off, giggling into her drink.

 

Mae'en had seen little of Solas during that week, too exhausted after the constant preparations to seek out more than a hot meal and her own bed at the end of each day. 

Her dreams stayed relatively quiet that week too. After _their_ \- because she was convinced he had actually participated- intimate fade dream, Mae'en had hoped to see him there again but he stayed away for some reason.  


As she left the Heralds Rest, and made her way up to her private tower, it occurred to Mae'en that Solas would have had to been seeking her out that night in the fade. Just like back when he took her back to Haven after the first battle with Corypheus. She had wanted to touch him so badly, but once realizing it was a dream, hadn't thought she could. 

 

She knew better now. 

 

So perhaps she could reach out to him? 

 

She didn't know much about magic, or fade dreaming, beyond what she had experienced so far, but she did know she wanted to feel the thrill of Solas's touch again. 

Mae'en readied herself for bed, and banked the fire for the night. After crawling into bed, she closed her eyes and tried to decide how one would reach out in the fade. 

 

She started by thinking of Solas.

 

Breathing deeply, she conjured up an image of him in her minds eye, smiling down at her. She had long since memorized the small details of his face, from the light dusting of freckles that seemed to bring out the blue in his eyes, to the way his full lower lip curved when he smirked at her. 

She imagine pressing her fingers against his mouth, feeling the heat of his breath wash over her fingers.

 

She longed to feel the touch of those lips on her own, and felt it keenly now, in the center of her chest.

She sighed softly, and wished wistfully for his touch, even just the press of his elegant nose brushing the side of her neck or the light scraping of his teeth against her pulse.

 

Teeth biting down and bruising, then slicking sore flesh with a hot lave of his tongue as hands roughly tug her hair out of her simple plait, short nails clawing her scalp.

 

A rush of desire overpowered Mae, dragging the heat coursing through her between her legs. The press of Solas against her was sudden very real, and Mae’en moaned loudly, gripping his shoulders.

His teeth sank into her neck again, hard, and she whimpered completely unable to resist dragging her nails down his back. She felt his answering growl against her neck, and suddenly his mouth crashed into hers. His mouth was hot, and impatient. His tongue plundered into her mouth as he swallowed her gasp at the sudden rush of pleasure that it brought her.

 

Giving in to what was obviously Solas dreaming of her, Mae moved against him instinctually, hips rolling into his the feel of his arousal a hard heat in the cradle of her pelvis.

 

“ Ma ava mi'nas'sal'ina alhasha pal'isalathe.”

He moaned against her mouth, hands sliding up her stomach without hesitation, his fingers gripping and clawing at her flesh until Mae’en realised they were both naked, and the warmth of his rough hands covered her breasts.

 

The immediate heat of him overwhelmed Mae’en, his voice moving through her like an arrow laced with pure lust.

  
“Solas!” She moaned deeply digging her fingers into the back of his neck, the fire inside her fuelled by the hot fingers roaming her flesh.

 

Those fingers suddenly stilled, and he jerked back violently to look into her eyes.

 

“Mae’en?” He flushed, hands suddenly dropping from her. “ Ar abelas, Vhenan, I did not realise you…”

 

Mae whimpered when he pulled away, flinching when he jerked away from her, suddenly very self-conscious.

 

Had he not been thinking of making love to her just now?

 

Was he imagining someone else?

  
“No, Solas. I-I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to interrupt—“

  
He cut her off with a tight grip on her shoulders.

  
“ Vhenan.” He spoke again. “ I must insist. I’m sorry. You should not have seen... Seen me treating you this way.” He said passionately, eyes crinkled in worry, thumbs running gentle circles into her skin.

Mae’en frowned suddenly, looking up at him.

  
“What do you mean? Treating me… What way exactly?” She asked with a slow tilt of her head.

The older elf flushed again, the tips of his ears still pink with arousal.

  
“ I… I mean… With such… Carnal violence… I thought my thoughts were my own, and I gave in to… I gave into a very primal need to… Ravish you.”

 

Mae bit her lip, and took a slow ragged breath.

  
“ So, It _was_ me?” She asked.

  
Solas looked startled by her question, and suddenly smiled, understanding.

 

“ Of course it was you… I just didn’t realise that you were actually here…” He paused. “ How are you here?” His brow furrowed. “It normally takes considerable magical focus to enter the fade with any form of stability.”

 

Mae shrugged. “ I missed you… So I went to bed and decided to try to find you…”   
His frown deepened. “ How? Without magical blood in your veins, how did you find me?”

Mae bit her lip and blushed. “ I… May have been… Thinking about you... Ravishing me. Like last time…”

 

Solas’s breath hitched, and he brought his arms around her.

  
“ You… Were pleasuring yourself to the thought of us…?” He asked in a husky timbre.

Mae’en felt herself redden further, but could not deny him the truth.

 

Solas made a low noise in his throat, and leaned forward, presumably to press his lips to hers, but he stopped himself short, suddenly frowning again.

  
“I… I am sorry, Vhenan, that is seems we only meet this way. It is easier for me to… Express my desire here… “

  
Mae smiled up at him. “ There is no need to be sorry, Hahren. It does afford us immeasurable privacy.”

 

Solas chuckled, and kissed the tip of her nose. “ Yes… But you should know, Mae… That you mean more to me then just… _This._ ” He nodded his head at her, gesturing at their nakedness.

 

Her smile deepened, and she kissed him lightly, aching to do more, but wanting to savour this sweet confession.

  
“ It means more to me then just this too, Solas.” She whispered, pressing her cheek against his chest, and holding him tightly.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elvhen Translations:  
> “ Ma ava mi'nas'sal'ina alhasha pal'isalathe.”- [ Your taste makes me wild with sexual desire.]
> 
> This is a messy translation I pieced together myself using FenXShirals Elvhen lexicon, so please excuse any errors in grammar, ect.  
> You can see this Lexicon as part of Project Elvhen here:  
> http://archiveofourown.org/users/FenxShiral/pseuds/FenxShiral
> 
> Please leave Kudos, CC, and bookmark for updates on the next Chapter! (Coming soon!)


	5. Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While everything at the Winter Palace distracts Mae'en, nothing can persuade Solas to take his eyes off of her.

The Winter Palace was a beautiful mosaic of colours and sound, and was like nothing Mae'en had ever experienced before. She was overwhelmed with all the splendour that surrounded her. 

While Mae'en was distracted by all the new people, food, and dances that surrounded her, she failed to notice that she was causing quite a stir among all the guests attending the soirée. 

 

Women waved delicate fans in front of gossiping lips as they watched the Elven Inquisitor walk by them in her red formal attire. Men practically tripped over themselves trying to get her attention. Meanwhile, Mae'en, blissfully unaware of the commotion she was causing among the nobles of Orlais, continued through the crowd.

 

Solas noticed all of it. 

 

He remained outwardly calm with his arms crossed as he leaned against an ornate pillar but inside Solas was seething. 

 

How dare they objectify her in this way? How dare they stare so openly? 

 

 _“She is mine_ ,” he found himself thinking possessively more than once.

 

As though she could sense the tension within him, Mae'en checked in on him often, casually touching his elbow as she sidled up beside him. More than once, he found himself turning his back to the crowd when she approached, in an attempt to shield her from staring eyes. 

 

“You’re a very good man-servant," she teased after she noticed this habit. “So protective of your mistress," she whispered. The corner of his mouth twitched.

 

"If I must play the part to pacify these nobles, I shall play it well, My Lady Inquisitor," he said, holding his hands behind his back to resist touching her cheek affectionately. He found that the more time they spent in the Fade together, the easier it became for him to reach out in person. 

Not necessarily helpful here, under the watchful eye of The Game, but pleasant enough otherwise. 

 

"Would my man-servant care to dance?" she said, tilting her chin with a smile that made his chest tighten. 

 

"I do not think it wise, Inquisitor," he said softly in response. Her smile fell, and she glanced down at her hands. He chanced a small touch of her shoulder and leaned close. 

 

"Within human culture, it would be frowned upon for you to be seen in the arms of a servant, Vhenan, and much more inappropriate for me to hold you the way I wish to on their dance floor," he explained, hoping to soften the blow. Her wide eyes sparkled up at him as she nodded in understanding. 

 

"Perhaps, you should assist me in the library then," she said raising her voice slightly, straightening her shoulder resolutely, a certain air of authority wrapping itself around her.

"I am very keen to learn all I can of Orleasan culture. Meet me there in twenty minutes and I'll tell you which volumes I want brought to my quarters, Solas. And do not keep me waiting,” she ordered, with a dark glint in her eye. He considered her proposal, knowing that even that was a risk, but knew her plan played into the Shemlen Game quite nicely. It would afford them only minutes alone, but he felt his heartbeat sped up at the prospect. 

 

Shifting on his feet, he bowed his head slightly in the demur acquiescence of a servant boy; his eyes still locked on hers as he bit his lip. He saw her eyes narrow in on his mouth. 

 

“As you wish, Inquisitor," he spoke in a low tone, moving aside so she could leave. 

 

The time dragged, and Mae'en quickly became impatient, skirting around nobles barely pausing to fashion a smile for any of them. The splendour of the Winter Palace had quickly begun to fade as she spoke with noble after noble, cleverly dodging and weaving through their Game, as Josie called it. She had done well, but now she was exhausted, and extremely tense with the stress of keeping up appearances. She sighed in relief and slipped away when she spotted the clock only a minute away from the time she had given Solas. Her steps hurried as she made her way into the quiet of the grand library. 

 

The room was dark, with a few candles lit at the base of every window; great stacks of books upon books creating little shadowed alcoves. At this time of the evening, they were blissfully empty but looking around, Mae'en knew that would not remain so once the dancing commenced, and others had the chance to slip away.

 

She padded silently towards the back of the great row of shelves, listening intently for any sign of nosy nobles or servants. 

 

"We are alone," Solas spoke, stepping quietly from a row behind her, arms held lightly at his sides, the taut red velvet of his coat cutting cleanly across his broad shoulders. Looking at him made her chest feel tight. Her heartbeat thudded unevenly. 

 

"Oh? Good..." she said, unmoving, suddenly caught in his stare.

 

"What would my Lady Inquisitor have me do...?" he asked, with just a hint of coyness. As he approached her, he stopped just short. He thumbed a few books on the shelf next to him as he feigned interest in their golden titles. 

 

“Kiss me," Mae'en ordered without missing a beat. Solas felt his heart jump into his throat at her command. For it was a command. When he looked up into her face when she spoke, he saw her eyes sparkle in the low light of the nearby candles. Authority emanated from her set jaw and square shoulders. He tipped his head, biting his lip, trying to effect nonchalance.   

 

"Well, if my Lady desires..." he whispered stepping closer to her, shrinking them both in the shadows of the last row of shelves. He could see Mae'en brace herself against the window pane and his heart tightened again in his chest. 

"You are so beautiful, Da'mi," he spoke softly, finally being able to reach out and trace the curve of her jaw with his fingers. He felt her tremble beneath his touch, and the corner of his mouth twitch into a small smirk. 

 

"Now, Solas..." she said, this time softly, Solas had desired her from the moment she had first stepped out of the Fade, but in this moment he did not think anything else in the world would have satisfied him more than to comply. He leaned forward slowly, fingers threading into thick tendrils of her hair, tilting her head back to bring her gaze up to his. She was watching him as he moved, pupils wide in anticipation. 

 

Mae'en felt a soft sigh leave her lips as his hand caressed her face. Her whole body swayed toward him, eager to finally feel the touch of his lips on her skin. When she looked up into his eyes, she knew he would not disappoint her. 

 

His mouth was hot and his lips soft. She could not help but draw in a quick breath at the shock that twisted through her as their lips met. 

 

Her anchor sparked and her arms wrapped around him, clutching his back as he deepened the kiss, spurred on by the jolt of magic that seemed to transfer through both of them. 

It was a rush of emotion she had never felt before, not even in the thick of battle. Adrenaline coursed through her and she moaned at the feeling of it. 

 

Something coiled inside of Solas; an awakening of a part of himself that had long been dormant. As his love moaned into his kiss, his hand cupped her face gently where his lips were not. He demanded more from her, gliding his tongue against her lips, seeking entrance. 

When she gave into him, he felt his whole world change. As her anchor burst again, sparks of green electricity jumped like tiny flames all across them. He felt his heart swell and sank his teeth playfully into her lower lip. 

 

An animalistic need seemed to explode between them and Mae’en was completely caught in its torrent and flow. She lifted herself up on her toes to better kiss her Hahren and her heart burst with a feeling she knew was love. 

 

All of a sudden, it was rend from her with a quick flash, sparks encompassing them and instilling in Mae’en a terror she knew was emanating from him. 

 

 _She can never know my secret_. She heard, in Solas’s voice, across the magic of the anchor.

 

And just like that, she was wrenching herself away from him, hand slapping across her swollen lips, and she  _knew_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From here on out, things are gonna deviate from the games story line quite a bit. Hope you're enjoying it! :)  
> Please leave cc in the comments!


	6. Trapped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas struggles with the guilt he feels after unintentionally revealing his secrets to Mae'en

Solas let out a heavy sigh. Sitting on the edge of the grand four-poster bed he had been afforded as a guest of the Inquisition, he sank back into the luxurious mattress feeling little comfort.

 

Outside of his room, the whole palace was celebrating; honouring the Inquisition for their key role in bringing the Duchess down, and saving the Empress’ life. 

 

His heart wrenched and suddenly he could not bear another moment in this place being surrounded by game players and liars. The memory of their masks mocked him and their pleasant voices laced with the timbre of tricksters. 

 

The room was dark and the fire banked for the night. Solas was glad for it. His heart was heavy, his head pounding, and he could not bear the thought of light. He wanted to slip away under the cover of night. 

 

The image of Mae's horror-stricken face haunted him in the dark. He studied it, feeling all the guilt and fear he had so far managed to tuck away into the corner of his mind. 

 

 _She knows_... 

 

He didn't know how but the magic that Corypheus corrupted had given the Anchor immense power. It had somehow betrayed him. 

 

In that moment, with his love in his arms, he had let his guard down and had revealed everything to her. 

 

The memories flashed in quick succession through his mind and he felt his face crumple as he covered it with his hands. 

 

_He handed Corypheus the Anchor._

_He watched with terror as the Magister betrayed him._

_He raced to the sight of the explosion._

_He threw himself into the carnage._

_He could do nothing to stop it._

_And then she stepped out of the fade._

 

He would have understood if Mae'en had raged. Had slapped him or pushed or screamed. Instead she had done nothing. Nothing but stare. 

 

He had stood in front of her, bare to the soul, struggling to find the right words to speak. He was stunned into silence, his heart crushed in his chest.

 

And she had done nothing. 

 

She had backed away after a moment and shook her head in disbelief. The bell had rung to announce the start of the dancing and without preamble, she had left. He had slumped against the window sill and had fully expected a contingent of palace guards to arrive within moments to detain him. 

 

But no one came.

 

She had told no one. 

 

Hours later, she had called him into a battle with the Duchess. And still she had told no one.

 

He rose to undress peeling the red coat from his shoulders with a heavy sigh. His mind still whirled despite the late hour, unable to process the fear and guilt swirling inside of him. 

 

But perhaps he could explain why... 

 

No.

 

He had lost her. In that one moment of passion, she had found out the truth and he had lost her. Forever.

 

He grabbed his pack furiously, and shoved his jacket into it. He started gathering his things quickly, not caring to fold anything. Grabbing his staff, he looked around one last time with a keen pang of regret and headed for the door. 

 

There was a knock at the door before he reached it and Solas, panic coursing through him, froze. Looking for a way to escape, he glanced out the window but dismissed the idea almost immediately given that he was at the top of the tower. 

 

He was trapped. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short Chapter! I promise more very very soon!
> 
> Please follow me on Tumblr @ junojjones if you enjoy my stories, and as always CC welcomed in the comments!


	7. Foci

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mae'en needs answers.

Mae’en had excused herself from the celebrations as soon as she could, making excuses about being exhausted from battle. The Empress had shooed the crowds away and ordered that Mae’en and the rest of her companions be given the best treatment possible.

 

No one followed her, after the Empress had her personal servant escort her to the top north western tower. It was a long walk from the main ballroom, but Mae’en kept silent, lost within her self.

 

Once the servant opened the door to her suite, she thanked and dismissed him, assuring that he would not be needed for the remainder of the night. She wanted to be alone; to get a chance to think without a pairs of eyes watching her every move.

 

Mae’en had hardly been given a moment to consider what had happened in the Library since she had left Solas hours ago. Events had seemed to happen so quickly after her discovery that she hadn’t had a single second to waste on her own thoughts.

  
At least that is the excuse she was telling herself.

 

She should have told someone. She should still tell someone.

  
Shouldn’t she?

 

Mae’en sighed heavily, pressing her back against the door of her room, gripping the knob behind her. Chewing her lip, she considered what she had seen.

  
Solas had the Anchor, a Foci from the Creators, and given it to Corypheus. He had given the Elder One the weapon of destruction that had thrown all of Thedas into chaos. She had also seen his regret, had felt his feelings of betrayal when the Temple erupted, and had seen the desperation in his heart when he tried to stop it from happening.

 

 _But… he gave Corypheus the Foci,_ She told herself.  
  
She shook her head, shutting her eyes against the whirlwind of her mind. How was this possible? Where had he taken the Foci from? How could he have kept this secret from her? From everyone?

 

She laughed weakly after a moment. This was all so impossible.  
  
How could she still love him?

Her heart wrenched at the thought. She was still in love with him. Even after the horror she had seen within him. Even knowing what he had done, what he was capable of… She still loved him.

 

 _None of this makes sense!_ Mae’en shouted at herself. _How can you be such a fool!?_

 

She needed answers. She could not wait.

 

Mae’en yanked the door opened and burst into the hall. A guard at the end of the hall looked over at her sharply, looking startled.  
  
“Is there something wrong, my Lady?” she asked.  
  
“Yes… No… I simply forgot…” Mae’en cast around for an excuse. “I forgot I promised Solas, to go over travel plans for our return home before the evening was through. Do you know what room he was given?”  
  
“Yes, Inquisitor. I can show you the way,” The guard said, stepping to the side to allow her to pass.  
  
“Thank you.”

 

Once in front of his door, Mae’en dismissed the guard, assuring her that she could make it back to her room alone. The guard gave her a calculated look with a bit of a lifted brow.  


“Of course, Inquisitor,” the guard said with a small smile as she disappeared down the hall.

 

Mae’en hesitated, taking a deep, steadying breath. She knew that she shouldn’t be here. The rumours that the guard had probably started spreading alone would be difficult enough to cover up. Maybe she should be trying to get as far away from him as possible, sending guards to arrest him or kill him.  
  
_No!_ She trembled at that thought, her heart thundering in her chest.

 

She reached out determined and gave a sharp knock against the door.

 

Silence.  
  
Mae’en heard nothing from inside the room and suddenly worried that he wasn’t there. She waited, and then reached for the knob.

 

The door opened swiftly, and Solas stood firmly within its frame. His eyes widened when he saw her, and he softened. She noticed that he was carrying his staff with his pack slung over his shoulder. Her heart sank in her chest.

 

“You’re leaving,” Mae’en said. Solas stood there, considering her for a moment, shoulders tense and eyes alert.

 

“I think it for the best, do you not?” he said arching a brow after a moment.

 

Mae’en felt herself shiver at the sound of his voice – hard and firm – and straightened her shoulders against it.  
  
“No. I think I deserve answers,” she said.

 

They watched each other for long seconds and Mae’en felt her stomach flutter as she stared at his face. Still strong and beautiful but more reserved, now that she knew.

She had almost expected him to look different after everything he had shown her. Like somehow what he had shared would have physically changed him. But the truth she was realizing was that it changed absolutely nothing.

 

Solas lowered his staff slowly, and took a step back, allowing her to enter his room. Mae’en walked past him and moved to the fireplace across from his bed. She saw that his quarters were just as luxurious as hers had been, even though he had played the role of servant.

 

She heard him moving around the room slowly, dropping his pack by the end of the bed as she starred into the empty fireplace. Suddenly, embers crackled to life, and Mae’en watched as magical flames grew in the hearth. She looked over her shoulder at Solas and he was watching her again.

 

She looked at him as though the newly-lit fire had thrown him into new light, and she supposed it had. She studied the angles of his face in silence for a moment; seeing that his brow was furrowed in worry as he studied her back.

 

“What I saw…” she started.

 

“Yes,” he responded, linking his hands behind his back, dropping his gaze, bowing his head slightly as though in affirmation.

 

Mae’en chewed her lip. “So it’s all true… You gave Corypheus the Foci you spoke of?” she asked, crossing her arms across her chest.

 

“Yes,” Solas sighed softly.

 

“And you…stole the Foci from the Evanuris?” she said, uncrossing her arms and taking a small step towards him, her fingers clutching the hem of her formal coat.

 

“Yes…” Solas lifted his hand to his brow, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Though perhaps not in a way that you think…”

 

Mae’en chewed at her lip again, trying to determine his tone. Regret and exhaustion seemed to swirl together, and she felt her heart pang. She wanted to brush his hand away, pull him close and press her lips to his worried brow.  
  
Still, after everything…

 

She straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin as she shoved her feelings off to the side.  
  
“So…Tell me. Who are you? How did this all come to be?” Mae’en demanded.

 

Solas dropped his hand, and looked at her once more searching her face for any hint of disgust, fear, or repulsion.

 

He saw none of those things, looking at her in the glow of the hearth. He saw only a thirst for the truth in her emerald eyes, the Vallaslin curling beneath them, around the soft curve of her cheek and into the depths of her golden locks.

 

“The marks of June that you bear…” he started, sitting at the foot of the bed, tracing his own face in imitation of the light blue tattoo she wore. “Your Keeper no doubt told you they were in honour of your Creators? The Evanuris?” he asked.  
  
She nodded, staying where she was, hands gripping into her arms.  
  
“They are slave markings,” he said simply, lifting his shoulders slightly. “A brand for the lesser of our people to mark them as owned.” His voice fell into a whisper, “It took me a long time, but I rebelled against it. I wanted to free our people from it.”  
  
Mae’en shook her head slowly, fingers biting into her coat. “How is that possible? Why would the Keepers lie?” Solas shrugged again, rubbing his brow. This was not how he had intended to tell her about her markings.  
  
“Propaganda,” he said simply, dropping his hand.  
  
Mae’en gazed into the fire, then looked back at him again, her heart thudding against her ribs.  
  
“And how do you know this, Solas?” she asked heatedly.  
  
Solas frowned, and let out a slow sigh.  
  
“I think it would be easier if I show you…” he finally replied.

 

 

 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading! All CC is welcomed in the comment below! <3


	8. Evanuris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas decides that if he's in for an inch, he may as well be in for a mile.

Solas patted the bed next to him. 

 

"Let me show you," he said. Now that he knew the full power of the anchor, he had a feeling it would work much the same when there was intention behind it. Mae'en stood silently watching him for a moment, considering. Finally, she relaxed slightly, and came to sit on the bed next to him. Solas turned toward her, and reached out his palms. 

 

"Take my hands, Mae," he said softly. 

 

To her credit she only hesitated for a second before complying. 

 

...

 

_Solas and Mae’en stood in the middle of a circular room, delicate golden spires encrusted with sparkling agate swirled up into a domed roof, where branches of white barked trees twisted to meet at the center. All around them, eight elves stood on platforms fitted into golden alcoves filled with streaming sunlight. Each alcove centred in front of an altar, a small glowing orb nestled within its own place in the branches of the tree dedicated to it._

_The Elves were all tall, strong and bare faced, save for one. This man was on the ground in front of an empty alcove, his back to the rest. He was kneeling; his bare back swirled with the sharp lines of a fresh Vallaslin. The deep red lines twisted up into a thick head of long hair, the tangled braids damp with sweat, tossed in front of his face as he seemed to struggle against immense pain._

_" You may now rise," spoke a voice, from a perch directly behind Solas and Mae’en and the man on the floor. They whirled as one to look at the man who had spoken. He was surrounded by the swirling white bark of the branches that created his alcove in this hall of judgement. They were etched with carvings of a design that Mae’en recognized.  
They were same as the blue swirls that covered Mae'en’s face and body. _

_June._

_She turned slowly in a circle, eyes stopping at each alcove, identifying the Creators she had heard about her whole life._  
  
Elgar’Nan. Mythal. Sylaise. June. Falon’Din. Dirthamen. Andruil. Ghilnan’Nain…  
  
_All of them stood around them, watching the kneeling man intently._

_Mae'en suddenly felt her heart clench with emotion that was not hers; rage, betrayal, desperation, all hot like red coals bubbling up in the pit of her stomach. She twisted around to look at the man in front of her_

_She was stunned. The man had thrown his head back, the great mane of braids was thrown over his back as he twisted to look at the man who had spoken. He looked through them as if Solas and she were transparent. Blood dropped like tears from the fresh tattoo that continued up to swirl up across his face._

_However, it was not the blood or the pained expression that shocked Mae'en. It was his eyes, his sharp cheekbones, and the dimpled chin that struck her._

_The face of Solas stared past her._

_She looked to her left to confirm that Solas was also still standing there beside her. He was watching this version of himself that lay on the floor. She reached out and clasped his hand gently and looked back at the other Solas, at the younger version of him._  
  
  


_"I said do what you will," the younger man snarled, rising on his haunches. “Your slave marks will not stop me. I will not allow you to trap our people any longer. Not even you, Elgar'nan"_

_The man that had been addressed stepped down from his pedestal; his thick golden robes sweeping the leaf-strewn floor as his bare feet padded silently toward them. A woman to his right, Mythal, looked hesitant and almost sad, but followed. Elgar'nan smirked, suddenly not as beautiful as Mae'en had first assumed, his cruel expression twisting his features._

_“We shall see, Fen’Harel. We shall see."_

 

 

...

 

 

“ Fen’Harel…” Mae’en whispered into the silence.  


She had been the one to break the connection between them, pulling her hands away from his slowly. Solas could not help but marvel at her strength with his magic. It was an anomaly he had never encountered before.

 

“So…Those stories... About you…The Dread Wolf... They are all lies made up by your comrades?" she asked, breaking their silence. She pressed her fingertips along her cheekbones, where she knew her Vallaslin curved along her skin. 

 

Solas bowed his head slightly.

 

"To be fair, it is not all lies. I can take on the form you call Dread Wolf, though I have only attempted it once since awakening, and I was very weak after." 

 

Mae'en looked up into his eyes, suddenly wrapped in the memory of the Blizzard that had overwhelmed her after Haven _._

_A wolf’s lonely searching cry echoing off the snow around her, seeming to push and pull at her until she narrowed in on the path over the Mountain._

Solas knew she had put the pieces together as he intended. He reached out slowly, extending strong fingers toward her. 

 

“I looked for you for hours, Mae. My heart was wretched and heavy. I was weak and unstable in my Dread form, but I could not afford to lose you. Even then."

 

Without really knowing why, Mae'en felt relief wash over her, and she let her fingers curl around his, squeezing gently as her thumbs traced over his knuckles slowly. She was shocked by this discovery, but she believed him. There were more to the stories her Keepers had told.

 

"How did you rid yourself of the Blood Writing?" She asked after a moment’s silence.

 

"Many years, and much trial and error. But I now know a spell that removes it. Derived from Blood Magic, actually." 

 

Mae'en nodded, having heard a little of his opinion on that matter before.

 

"Thank you, Hahren," she whispered staring at their connection. Solas frowned, not understanding. 

 

"For? What could you be grateful for?" 

 

She looked up at him again, and touched his cheek after a moment. 

 

"For telling me the truth. For trusting me with it after all the betrayal you have seen." She couldn't help but caress the side of his face. Solas closed his eyes at her touch, leaning into it. 

How could this beautiful creature be so forgiving? 

 

" Mae'en..." he sighed, opening his eyes again to look at her.  "I... I don't know what to say..." 

 

Her smile was small, but it was like a balm, soothing over the pain and guilt and fear he had been carrying with him for the better part of a year. 

 

"Then do not speak, Vhenan." She pressed her fingers against his lips, the glow from the fireplace shining in her eyes. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was too excited to hold onto this chapter for a week, so you guys got two chapters in one day!!  
> Please leave CC or any comments you'd like below! <3


	9. Vhenan'ara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas and Mae'en don't have much left to say.

Solas was completely overwhelmed.  
  
Mae'en was close – so close – the breath of her last words brushed against his cheek as her fingers trailed over his lower lip.

 

She accepted him fully even after everything he'd done, after all his lies. She thanked him for his truth. Here in the darkness of his room, he hadn't lost her, and she had found him.

 

Solas groaned softly as his heart burst with his love for her. He couldn't keep away from her now, even if he had tried. 

 

In a single movement, his fingers were threading into her hair, and his lips founds hers, and by the Fade she was responsive. 

 

Mae'en gasped when his lips met hers, hot and insistent. Solas was kissing her as though she was the only thing saving him from destruction, and she felt her whole body rise to the occasion.

 

She murmured softly against his kiss, raising herself onto her knees, shuffling as close to him as she could get. 

 

Solas pushed up into her kiss, moving gracefully onto his knees as well, pulling her against him. Mae'en moaned into his kiss as their bodies touched, and leaned forward into him.

 

Her heart was thundering in her ears, and suddenly she could not touch enough of him. All her fear and worry melted away into a hot ball of lust in the pit of her stomach. 

 

Mae'en gasped again, when Solas’ fingers trailed down her neck slowly, sending shivers down her spine. She pulled away from his mouth a fraction and looked into his eyes. He was exposed to her in that one look, full of pain and uncertainty, and yet he was sure.

 

About her, about them, in this moment.

 

Mae’en reached up slowly, and began pushing the buttons of her jacket through the loops holding it in place. She watched Solas as he watched her, his eyes narrowed in on her mouth, trying desperately not to dip lower. 

 

"Watch me..." she whispered after a moment, leaning back still further as she pulled open the front of the crimson fabric. It slid off her shoulders revealing the fine lace chemise she'd worn beneath.

 

Solas's breath hitched in his chest, and his fingers fell to trace her collarbone as he beheld the beauty in his arms, still not believing that she was really here. In this very room where he had laid his truth bare. She had stayed. 

 

No one ever stayed.

 

Mae'en shrugged out of the coat, exposing more of the intricate lace chemise, dark red flowers blooming like embrums across her porcelain skin. His fingertips followed her Vallaslin, down her throat to the edge of the dainty fabric. 

 

He looked into her eyes again, seeing her shyness. Mae’en had worn this for him; before everything had happened, she had picked out this finery to stir him. 

 

And it was working. 

 

"Ma vhenan'ara… " Solas murmured softly, letting his fingers trace the lace covering her breasts, and he delighted selfishly in the way her breath caught in her chest. 

 

And with that, her lips were on his again, hot and hungry. Solas deepened the kiss, slanting his mouth across hers, sweeping his tongue across her lower lip to beg entrance. 

 

Mae’en granted him access, and answered hotly, sliding her hands up under his tunic, gripping his back wildly.  
  
Solas pressed his lips against her neck, allowing his hands to roam her back, reveling in her panting breath against his ear. She was moving against his touch, her neck arched to give him better access to her bare skin.  
  
Mae’en pressed her small hands into Solas’s chest as she leaned back in his arms. His mouth was leaving a trail of fire across her skin, and she whimpered when he pressed his lips against her chest, through the fabric of her chemise. Her fingers slid up to lace behind his head, holding him to her as she murmured incoherently against his crown.

 

Solas brought his own hands to the front of his tunic, pulling at the leather thongs that kept the collar firmly tied shut, and brought his mouth back to hers. Mae’en surprised him by sinking her teeth into his lower lip, tugging impatiently. He smirked into their kiss, and pulled his shirt open, and throwing it to the ground.  
  
Mae’en moaned against the promise of his kiss, arching up into his bare chest. Sparks from her anchor glowed green in the dim firelight and crackled against Solas’s chest. He hissed hotly against her mouth, but did not protest, which only encouraged Mae’en to slide her hands down his chest, fingers rippling across his abdomen, which twitched beneath her touch.  
  
Her fingers worked at the ties of his breeches, and Mae’en could feel the heat of him pressing against her hands as he watched her. Her anchor flared again, and suddenly her own feelings of lust doubled, sending her mind reeling. She pressed her forehead to his, gasping for breath as their hearts thundered. They were breathless, impatient, and hungry for each other.  
  
Suddenly, she was on her back, and Solas was shoving her own breeches down her hips, tugging and pulling them until she was freed of them completely. They joined his shirt on the ground, and Mae’en immediately hooked her legs around his thighs, pulling him closer.  
  
“Solas… Please… I can’t... I can feel you…” Mae’en whimpered, her fingers raking through her own hair.  
  
Solas nodded, clearly just as overwhelmed. He pressed against her, fingers wrapping around her wrists as he moved his erection against her heat, pulsing slowly. His breeches still clung to his thighs, and the rough fabric rubbed a delicious contrast against the back of her thighs. They both shuddered, their touches seeming to ricochet through both of them.  
  
He turned slightly, pinning one of her thighs down against the mattress with his hip, and his hand slid down her body slowly. He moaned with her when his fingers found their way between her wet folds. Solas pressed his eyes shut at the pleasure of it. He could feel her heart beating beneath him, matching his own labored breathing.  
  
Mae’en gripped the back of his neck roughly, trying to lift her hips beneath him. She felt the tether that the anchor had created between them tighten and coil darkly around them, pushing their pleasure together. She had never experienced anything like this before in her life.

 

“Mae’en…” Solas whispered against her mouth, as he rubbed her in slow circles, both their bodies twitching and writhing together now.  
  
“Yes,” she tipped her head back to capture his mouth with hers, sweeping her tongue into his mouth, urging his hips higher with tightening thighs.

 

“Please, Solas, Mae’en moaned losing herself in the emotions whirling between them, “Ma emma lath…”  
  
Solas groaned, and moved against her once more, pushing himself into her, stilling as an immense heat coursed through him. He felt more then saw Mae’en gasp beneath him as she arched up into his stuttering hips. Sheathed to the hilt, he moved onto his elbows, pressings his forehead to hers, running his fingers through her hair, across her cheek with a tenderness he had never felt before.  
  
“Ar Lath Ma,” Mae’en whispered against his lips, moving her hands to cup his jaw, as the anchor flared once more. The bond between them strengthened, and again, she knew.

Solas could not speak, but groaned against her lips. Emotions coiled and pulsed around him, crushing and soothing his heart at the same time.

  
He loved her too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 Thank you for reading. Please leave cc in the comments, and don't forget to bookmark to get updates as the new chapters come out.


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